Dear Jeni,

I received notice from the Treasury Department today that my 30 year old HH bond will receive no more interest after November.
What should I do???

1. Cash it and put it in my Money Market account.

2. Cash it and buy a Certificate of Deposit.

3. Invest in other Savings Bonds.

4 Cash it and buy a vacuum cleaner.(I really don't like cleaning).

5. Cash it and send the $$ to you.

6. Ask Clark Howard for advise.

Any and all help is appreciated.

Thank You,
Financially Dysfunctional

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Dear Dysfunctional,

This is really quite a good question. Everyone knows that money is generally meant to be hoarded, but few people know how to do so properly anymore. Allow me to enlighten you.

First of all, you need to cash in your bond. Insist upon gold coins, which are far more satisfying to stack into tall, neat piles. If you cannot manage this, $1 bills are acceptable, I suppose. The second step is to locate a proper box. The ideal box will fit nicely under your bed and will be just slightly too small to contain your cash. The last point is essential: you want the box to be overflowing with money! (Alternatively, you could purchase a counting desk, but this would limit your hoarding and so is not recommended.) Now every day, you must close your drapes, lock your door, and count your money. Doing so should inspire you to add to your pile. Perhaps one day you will find yourself rich. Then you can quit your job and spend all day counting your money.

Best of luck to you.

--Jeni