Dear Jeni,

My next door neighbor's moved out 3 months ago and their cat ran off just as they were leaving. They tried to come back and get him several times, but he had turned quasi-feral at that point and wouldn't get around people for a month. We kept putting food and water out, but he still wouldn't come near. Then my Mom cooked up some freezer-burned trout and gave it to him, and he has loved us ever since. Do we own this cat now, or should we lock him up and call the long-lost ex-neighbors?

Sincerely,
Flabbergasted Feline Friend

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Dear Flabber,

No, you do not own the cat. Cats cannot be owned like slaves. The cat has seen fit to honor you with his presence. You should go around basking in your undeserved glory.

Also, it is bad form to serve food of poor quality to cats.

--Jeni

P.S. Jeni not responsible for typos by original authors of letters.