Dear Jeni,

I tend to be whiny and clingy and eventually I alienate people. What can I do to change?

K.P.

P.S. I forgot to tell you I kind of obsess on things, too. Thanks.

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Dear K.P. (are you by chance related to KY, makers of fine jelly?),

I have spent some time pondering your question and I have come to the conclusion that there is only one thing for you to do: join the military. They will grind any cantakerous behavior out of you. Push-ups by the hundreds will likely cure your obsessiveness. Hop to, soldier!

Jeni

Dear Jeni,

I am lame. What can I do about it?

Anonymous


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Dear Anonymous,

Well, I suspect there is not much that you can do about it. You could always choose amputation, of course. With less weight, you could more easily piggyback upon large dogs--a handy form of transportation as well as the only legitimate use for such a creature.

Jeni

Dear Jeni,

Lately I haven't been able to concentrate in school. Have any advice on how I can focus in class and keep my mind on school both at school and home?

Wants to Concentrate or something

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Dear Wants,

Concentration is overrated. People who can't focus on anything are unable to contemplate pain and despair and can wander aimlessly through unspeakable horrors as though they were running after butterflies. Should such individuals stumble upon the horror of their situation, they quickly find something else to distract them. Work on cultivating your flightiness and you will eventually lose the desire to do something as absurdly unrewarding as concentrating.

Jeni

Dear Mom,

When are you coming home? This other person keeps coming over and petting me and changing my water, but it's not the same!

Miss you,

Gergiev

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Silly cat, looking to a random Jeni when you should be looking for the Jeni, for your own personal Jeni! You must find some other blog, my feline friend. Best of luck to you. It is quite sad indeed to lose one's human companion.

a Jeni